Monday, June 29, 2009

Just Call Me Axl Rose

I drive a 2008 Nissan Xterra. As far as I know, I'm the only one in Mt. P. who has a charcoal grey one. I work until 8:00 on Mondays. For the past 4 Mondays, there has been something left on my car or under my windshield. The first time it was a half sheet of paper. I didn't notice it until I was on my way home and it blew out when I flipped on my wipers. I figured it was a relious tract or some kind of "please join us for vbs" flyers. Then there was the book. It was old and ratty and extremely dirty. It was on my running board. I flipped it open with the toe of my shoe - that's how gross it was. It had a bunch of newspaper clippings and photos stuck inside. Not wanting to touch it, I kicked it to the curb. I figured someone thought we might need it at the library and left it for me. Didn't think too much about it - just that it was weird someone would put it on my running board. Last week, as I was driving home, a large yellow envelope flew off when I turned on my wipers. Again??? Someone stuck something under my wiper again? It was so far down I didn't even see it. (Yes, I can see over my steering wheel, thank you very much!) So tonight there was an envelope. It said "To My Loving Husband W.A.R." Okay, so now I'm thinking someone has mistaken my suv for someone elses. I was kind of afraid to touch it, but I put it on the floor of my car. To my knowledge, no one wants to kill me, but I wasn't about to open it. Four weeks, four "tokens". It kinda creeped me out so I drove to the police station and told the officer my story. He opened the envelope ----- and laughed. "I'll bet this is from Charlene. Do you know Charlene?" I do know Charlene. She's a few bricks short of a load - actually, I think her cart might be empty. She lives across the street from the library. As he looks over the letter he tells me that it is, indeed, from Charlene. He goes on to tell me that she thinks she's married to Axl Rose. "The Axl Rose from the band???" "Yep." She even signed her name on the letter using his last name. Oh, boy........ Anyway, he told me he'd try to convince her that my vehicle was not Axl's and she was to stop leaving notes and things. BTW - Axl Rose's birth name is William - hense the W.A.R. I've been mistaken for someone's cousin/sister/aunt before, but never Axl Rose!!!! Too funny - tooooooooooo weird!!

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